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How to make a basketball shooting game on scratch
How to make a basketball shooting game on scratch
How to Make a Basketball Game on Scratch
Today we're going to reveal how to make a basketball game on Scratch! In this tutorial, we will show you how to animate a simple basketball game by utilizing commonly used blocks such as the ones from motion and looks category. The key to this short game is coordination and timing. Every sprite has at least one task and the sequence of when and how these tasks are performed is important.
For the most part, our “wait () seconds” block will take care of the timing part for custom switching and ball passing. The “go to x and y” block should take care of the ball’s whereabouts, and different “switch custom to” block will take care of the overall appearance, gesture, and body language of our humans sprites. And just like in a real basketball game, strategizing the next move is crucial. Hence “broadcast message” and “when I receive message” blocks will help determine whose turn it is to perform.
If you enjoy creating games in Scratch, be sure to check out our live, online, award-winning Scratch coding for kids classes and our game building class for kids - designed by experts from Google, Stanford, and MIT.![]()
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See how to make a basketball game on Scratch in simple steps
Scratch for kids is great for making games. Here we'll walk you through 16 steps to making your own fun game.
Step 1: Select sprites and resize
Select the three sprites (Andie, Jamal, and Dorian) plus the ball sprite and manually set their size to 70% for the three players and 40% for the ball.
Step 2: Choose a backdrop
In the Backdrops library under Sports choose the Basketball 2 backdrop.
Step 3: Customize the sprites – delete ball
In the custom tab for each player sprite, remove the ball from their customs. We will use our ball sprite instead. To remove the ball simply click on it and press the backspace key or click on the trash bin icon to delete it.
Step 4: Customize sprites – duplicate and edit
Duplicate Dorian’s custom by selecting dorian-c by right clicking and selecting “duplicate” from the options.
Then move his arms up so that we can later use that particular custom to animate his excitement once the team scores. To rotate the arm, click on it, and look for the curved double arrow.
Step 5: Ball sprite’s initial location
We are ready to code. We will start with the ball sprite but first, click on dorian-a custom, and manually position the ball in Dorian’s hands. Then set the ball’s position (x and y points) to always be there when the green flag is clicked. We will also need the ball to stay there for about a second and a half before Dorian passes it to Andie.
Step 6: Ball’s next location
Switch Andie’s custom to andie-a, and manually position the ball to be in his right hand. Only then are we ready to program the ball to be passed (glide) from Dorian to Andie. We do this by changing the x and y points.
Step 7: Make sprite Andie switch hands
The next step is to have Andie show off his skill by switching the ball from one hand to another. We will use the broadcast message block.
Step 8: Broadcast 1st message
Now we need to program Andie’s sprite to do two things: 1. switch the ball to his left hand and 2. Pass the ball to Jamal. This can be done as soon as Andie receives “message1” from the previous step. Furthermore, we will broadcast yet another message (Call it message2), which will trigger the ball to also go from being in Andie’s right hand to being in his left hand.
Step 9: Broadcast 2nd message
Go ahead and test your game. You will notice that Andie now has his left arm raised. This is what we wanted. Manually move the ball to his hand and change the x and y points to reflect that. All there is left to do after at this point is have Andie pass the ball to Jamal.
Step 10: Message2 – What to do
It is time for Jamal to catch the ball. Under Jamal’s customs, select jamal-a so that we can go ahead and position the ball to where his hands are. We will add a .5 second wait time as well as the glide block so that the ball can glide into Jamal’s hands.
We also need to prep Jamal for the message2 – he will get into the catching position which is jamal-a custom.
Step 11: Message2, few more steps
Use jamal-c custom for ball throwing, however, edit his arms first. Make his arms appear closer to one another. We did this for Dorian in Step 4. Also, we need Jamal to switch to this custom at the right time, so we’ll add a wait block in between.
Step 12: Prep to score
We are once more going to add on to where we left off with the ball. In this step, we need to position the ball between Jamal’s hands and add another pause, and another “go to” block.
Step 13: The scoring steps
We are not done with the ball just yet but we are to the final steps of ball’s whereabouts. We need to make it look as Jamal is going for the hoop. Position the ball to the top of the basketball hoop, add the glide block, and then position the ball to the bottom of the hoop, and add another glide block. At that point, we need to broadcast another message which will trigger all three player sprites to celebrate by throwing their arms in the air and jumping up and down.
Step 14: Prep to animate excitement
Jamal, Dorian, and Andie will all switch customs when they receive message 3 but Jamal and Dorian will appear if they are jumping up and down. For this, we will use the same concept as we did for the ball – we will manually move the sprites up and down to get the x and y positions in our glide block.
The only thing that should be different is the amount of time the customs will glide for. One second is too long and we want to make the jumping appeal a little more realistic. We will repeat this process for 10 times for both Jamal and Dorian.
Step 15: Keeping customs in line
Test your game. What do we notice? It seems as the last steps of the custom switch stayed there doesn’t it? Which sort of throws off how our sprites behave when we want to see them pass the ball etc. It just does not seem right. This is an easy fix. For each sprite we will use the “when the green flag is clicked” to assign their appropriate customs for a smoother transition.
Step 16: Broadcast 3rd and final message
We need to adjust the customs as each sprite receive the broadcast message. Do this for all sprites under each broadcasted message.
Step 17: Add score variable
All there is missing is the score. Click on Variables, and then click on Make a Variable. Name it Score and leave the radio button checked off for all sprites.
Step 18: Program score using condition and operators
Add two points when the ball lands on the floor. That is the last “glide” block we used for the ball. In our case, that was x=-81 and y=-144. Use the if/then conditional block as well as operation blocks ‘=’ and ‘and’.
Step 19: Reset score
As you test your game, you may have noticed that we keep adding to the score regardless of how many times we start the game over. This is an easy fix. All we need to do is set the score back to zero at the beginning of the game which would be when the green flag is clicked. You can do this under any sprite but we should stick with the ball since the score is added once the ball is on the ground.
At this point, you are all set!
The link to this game can be found here!
Make a basketball game on Scratch today
When it comes to animating your game on Scratch, the goal is to make everything look as “real” or as “alive” as possible. In this tutorial, we gave you an idea of how to do just that.
From editing and switching Sprite customs, to broadcasting and receiving messages, and even selecting precise x and y points for the ball to flock to, we have plenty of tools to make even a simple game seem sophisticated and catchy. All that’s needed is an idea and creativity.
Up next, see how to make a clicker game on Scratch or enjoy a free intro to Scratch coding class.
Written by Sandra Dizdarevic, a Create & Learn instructor with 6 years of experience teaching STEM to children in the 3rd through 11th grade. She has an Undergraduate as well as a Masters Degree in Management Information Systems from UNO.
Scratch Programming Playground
Many platformer games, such as Super Mario Bros.
and Donkey Kong Country, show a side view of the action, where the bottom of the screen is the ground and the character is shown from the side. These games have gravity: characters can jump up and then fall until they land on the ground. In this chapter, we’ll write a basketball game that has gravity. The player will jump and throw a basketball, and the basketball player and ball will fall downward.
Before you start coding, look at the final program at https://www.nostarch.com/scratchplayground/.
SKETCH OUT THE DESIGNFirst, let’s sketch out what we want the game to do. The player controls the cat, which can move left and right and jump. The goal is to have the cat shoot baskets into a moving basketball hoop, which will glide around the Stage randomly.
If you want to save time, you can start from the skeleton project file, named basketball-skeleton.sb2, in the resources ZIP file. Go to https://www.nostarch.
com/scratchplayground/ and download the ZIP file to your computer by right-clicking the link and selecting Save link as or Save target as. Extract all the files from the ZIP file. The skeleton project file has all the sprites already loaded, so you’ll only need to drag the code blocks into each sprite.
| MAKE THE CAT JUMP AND FALL |
Let’s start by adding gravity to make the cat jump up and fall down.
1. Add the Gravity Code to the Cat SpriteClick the i button for the Sprite1 sprite to open its Info Area. Rename the sprite Cat, and then close the Info Area. Then rename the program from Untitled to Basketball in the text field at the top of the Scratch editor.
Click the Choose backdrop from library button under New backdrop to open the Backdrop Library window. Select brick wall1 and click OK to change the backdrop.
The Stage will look like this:
Programming gravity requires variables. You can think of a variable as a box for storing numbers or text that you can use later in your program. We’ll create a variable that contains a number representing how fast the cat is falling.
First, make sure the Cat sprite is selected in the Sprite List and then click the Scripts tab. In the orange Data category, click the Make a Variable button to bring up the New Variable window. Enter y velocity as the variable name. (Velocity means how fast something is going and in what direction. When y velocity is a positive number, the cat moves up. When y velocity is a negative number, the cat moves down.) Make sure For this sprite only is selected. (If you see only For all sprites, the Stage is selected, not the Cat sprite.) Then click OK.
Several new blocks will appear in the Data category, and one of those is the round y velocity variable block, shown here:
As with any variable block, you can place the y velocity block anywhere you would normally enter a number or some text.
The code block will use the number or text set in the variable. When you use variables, your program can change the variable’s number or text while the program is running.
To put a value in your variable, you use the orange set to block. For example, if you created a variable greeting, you could use set to to put the value Hello! in it. Then, you could use greeting in a say block, which would be the same as entering Hello!. (Don’t add these blocks or create a greeting variable in your Basketball program; this is just an example.)
If you want to change the greeting text while the program is running, you can add another set to block to your program. If the variable contains a number, you can add to or subtract from this number by using the change by block.
Gravity makes objects accelerate downward. In the game, the Cat sprite has to move down, and the speed at which it moves down must change while the program is running.
Add the following code to the Cat sprite to add gravity to your Scratch program. This is the minimal amount of code you need to make a sprite fall under gravity. You could add this code to any sprite to make it fall.
When you click the green flag, the y velocity variable is set to 0, and then the script enters a forever loop. The y position (vertical position) of the Cat sprite is changed by y velocity, and y velocity is changed by -2. As the program goes through the loop, the y position will change faster and faster, making the cat fall faster and faster.
2. Add the Ground Level CodeRight now, the cat falls. But we want the cat to stop when it hits the ground. Let’s keep adding to the Cat sprite’s code so it looks this:
In this code, we set the y position of the ground level to -130. If the Cat sprite’s y position is greater than (above) the ground level, then y velocity is changed by -2 and the Cat sprite will fall.
Eventually, the Cat sprite will fall past -130, and its y position will be less than (below) the -130 ground level. When that happens, the Cat sprite will be reset at the ground level of -130, and y velocity will go back to 0 to stop the sprite from falling.
When you’re done testing your program, make the y velocity variable invisible on the Stage by unchecking the checkbox next to it in the orange Data category.
3. Add the Jumping Code to the Cat SpriteAfter adding the gravity code to the Cat sprite, making the cat jump is easy. Add this code to the Cat sprite:
Now when you press the up arrow key, y velocity is set to the positive number 20, making the Cat sprite jump up. But the y velocity variable will still be changed by -2 each time the loop runs. So although the cat jumps by 20 at first, the next time through the loop it will be at 18, then 16, and so on. Notice that the if then block checks that the Cat sprite is on the ground.
You shouldn’t be able to make the cat jump if it’s already in midair!
When y velocity is set to 0, the Cat sprite is at the peak of the jump. Then y velocity changes by -2 each time through the loop, and the Cat sprite continues falling until it hits the ground. Try experimenting with different numbers for the set y velocity to and change y velocity by blocks. Figure out how to make the cat jump higher or lower (but always above the ground) or make gravity stronger or weaker.
| MAKE THE CAT MOVE LEFT AND RIGHT |
Let’s add the Cat sprite’s walking code next so that the player can control the cat with the keyboard.
4. Add the Walking Code to the Cat SpriteAdd the following code to the bottom of the Cat sprite’s code:
Inside the forever loop, the program checks if the left arrow or right arrow key is being pressed.
If it is, the Cat sprite switches to the next costume and changes its x position by -10 (moves to the left) or 10 (moves to the right). The Cat sprite comes with two costumes that you can view by clicking the Costumes tab above the Blocks Area. By switching between the two costumes using the next costume block, you can make it look like the cat is walking.
| MAKE A HOVERING BASKETBALL HOOP |
Now that the Cat sprite is complete, let’s move on to the next sprite in the game: the basketball hoop.
5. Create the Hoop SpriteClick the Paint new sprite button next to New sprite. Before you start drawing, click the Convert to vector button in the lower-right corner. The drawing tool buttons will appear on the right side of the Paint Editor. (Vector mode lets you draw using shapes, rather than drawing the individual pixels of an image.
) Click the yellow color and use the Ellipse tool to draw a hoop. You can also slide the Line width slider in the lower-left corner to make the ellipse’s line thicker. Make sure the Paint Editor’s crosshairs are in the center of the hoop.
Rename the sprite Hoop in its Info Area. We want the Hoop sprite to play a cheer sound when the player makes a basket, so let’s load the cheer sound next. Click the Sounds tab at the top of the Blocks Area, and then click the Choose sound from library button under New sound. When the Sound Library window opens, select cheer and click OK.
The cheer sound will now appear as an option for the play sound block you’ll add to the Hoop sprite.
Add the following code to the Hoop sprite to make it glide randomly around the top half of the Stage. You’ll need to create a broadcast message by clicking the when I receive block’s black triangle and selecting new message.
Name the new broadcast message swoosh.
Script ➊ makes the hoop slide to a new position every second. A moving hoop will make the game more challenging to play! Script ➋ plays the cheer sound and displays “Swoosh!” when the swoosh broadcast is received. Later, we’ll make the Basketball sprite broadcast this message when a basket is made.
6. Create the Hitbox SpriteNow let’s think about how to create code that determines whether or not the player makes a basket. We could write a program that checks whether the basketball is simply touching the hoop. But because the hoop is so wide, just the edges of the basketball touching the hoop would count as a basket. We want the basket to count only if the basketball goes through the middle of the hoop. We’ll have to think of a better fix.
Instead, you can create a hitbox. A hitbox is a game-design term for a rectangular area that determines whether two game objects have collided with each other.
We’ll make a hitbox sprite. Create a new sprite by clicking the Paint new sprite button next to New sprite. Draw a small black square in the middle of the crosshairs by using the Rectangle tool and selecting the solid fill option. Rename this sprite Hitbox. The Hitbox sprite will look like this:
Add the following code to the Hitbox sprite:
The Hitbox sprite will now follow the Hoop sprite, no matter where it glides.
In Step 9, we’ll write a program that makes sure a basket counts only if the basketball is touching the Hitbox sprite, not the Hoop sprite. The basketball will have to be much closer to the middle of the hoop to count as a basket!
It looks odd to see a black square in the middle of the Hoop sprite, so let’s make the Hitbox sprite invisible. Add the set ghost effect block to the Hitbox sprite and set it to 100.
There’s a difference between the hide block and the set ghost effect to 100 block.
If you used the hide block to make the Hitbox sprite invisible, the touching blocks would never detect that the ball was touching the Hitbox sprite, and the player would never be able to score. The set ghost effect to 100 block makes the sprite invisible, but this block still allows the touching blocks to detect the Hitbox sprite’s presence.
Next, you’ll add a basketball for the cat to throw. Like the cat, the basketball will have gravity code and fall to the ground.
7. Create the Basketball SpriteClick the Choose sprite from library button next to New sprite to open the Sprite Library window. Select the Basketball and click OK.
Next, click the Sounds tab at the top of the Blocks Area, and then click the Choose sound from library button next to New sound to open the Sound Library window.
Select the pop sound and click OK. Click the Scripts tab at the top of the Blocks Area to bring back the Scripts Area.
Now go to the orange Data category. You’ll make two variables. Click the Make a Variable button. Name the variable y velocity, and make sure For this sprite only is selected before you click OK. Because they are For this sprite only variables, the Basketball sprite’s y velocity variable is separate from the Cat sprite’s y velocity variable. Even though they have the same name, they are two different variables.
Click the Make a Variable button again to make another variable named Player 1 Score, but this time select For all sprites. (We capitalize Player 1 Score because we’ll make it visible on the Stage. Uncheck the box next to y velocity to hide it on the Stage.) The new variable blocks should appear in the orange Data category.
8. Add the Code for the Basketball SpriteAfter you’ve added the pop sound and two variables, add this code to the Basketball sprite:
Script ➊ makes sure the player starts with 0 points and hides the Basketball sprite to start.
Script ➋ uses code similar to the Cat sprite code. When the player presses the spacebar, the basketball appears in front of the cat and starts moving forward. The code sets the Basketball sprite’s y velocity variable to a positive number, just like how the Cat sprite’s y velocity variable is set to a positive number when the cat jumps; this is how the cat throws the ball.
The repeat until y position < -130 block will keep the Basketball sprite falling until it reaches the ground. When it reaches the ground, the basketball will be hidden until the next time the player presses the spacebar.
9. Detect Whether a Basket Is MadeNext, you’ll add the code that checks whether the Basketball sprite is touching the Hitbox sprite.
This is how you know whether a basket has been made, and if it has, the Player 1 Score variable should increase. However, there is one snag: the basket shouldn’t count if the basketball goes up through the hoop.
Keep in mind that if the y velocity variable is positive, the change y by y velocity block will move the Basketball sprite up. If y velocity is 0, then the Basketball sprite is not moving up or down. But if y velocity is a negative number, then the Basketball sprite will be falling down.
So you’ll add another if then condition to the Basketball sprite’s code. You’ll increase the score only if the basketball is touching the hitbox (using the touching Hitbox? block) and falling downward (y velocity < 0).
The and block combines two conditions. For Scratch to run the code blocks inside the if then block, both of these conditions must be true.
It isn’t enough for the sprite to be touching the Hitbox sprite or for the y velocity variable to be less than 0. Both touching Hitbox? and y velocity < 0 must be true for the player to score. If these conditions are true, the Player 1 Score variable is increased by 1 and the swoosh message is broadcasted.
10. Fix the Scoring BugDid you notice that Player 1 Score increases by several points for a single basket? This is a bug, which is a problem that makes the program behave in an unexpected way. We’ll need to take another careful look at the code to figure out why this happens.
The repeat until loop block keeps looping until the ball hits the ground, so all of this code is for a single throw. The repeat until loop block checks several times whether or not the Basketball sprite is touching the Hitbox sprite and falling down. The Player 1 Score should increase only the first time.
You fix this bug by creating a new variable that keeps track of the first time the basketball touches the hoop for a single throw. Then you can make sure the player scores a point only once per throw.
Click the orange Data category at the top of the Blocks Area, and then click Make a Variable. Name the variable made basket and select For this sprite only. Then modify the Basketball sprite code.
The made basket variable is set to no when the player first presses the spacebar. This makes sense because the player has not made a basket when the ball is initially thrown. We’ll also use an and block to add another condition to the code that checks whether a basket has been made. A basket is now detected and the code in the if then block is run when three conditions are true:
The Basketball sprite is touching the Hitbox sprite.
The y velocity variable is negative (the basketball is falling down).
The made basket variable is set to no.
The first time the Basketball sprite detects it has made a basket, it increases Player 1 Score by 1 point and sets made basket to yes. In future checks for that shot, made basket will not be equal to no, so the basket is no longer detected. The made basket variable resets to no the next time the player presses the spacebar to throw the basketball.
THE COMPLETE PROGRAMHere is the final code. If your program isn’t working correctly, check your code against this code.
VERSION 2.0: TWO-PLAYER MODELet’s upgrade the Basketball game by adding a second player. This will be easy since the second player’s code will be almost identical to the first player’s code.
Duplicate the Cat and Basketball SpritesDuplicate the Cat sprite and the Basketball sprite by right-clicking them in the Sprite List and selecting duplicate.
Select the new Cat2 sprite and click the Costumes tab at the top of the Blocks Area. Use the Fill tool to make the cat blue. Then click the Flip left-right button at the top-right corner of the Paint Editor to make the second player shoot for the hoop from the other side.
Modify the Code for the Cat2 SpriteChange the code in the new Cat2 sprite to match this:
Now two different players will be able to play the game using the same keyboard. Each cat will be controlled by its own unique keys.
Modify the Code for the Basketball2 SpriteThe second player will need their own variable for keeping score. From the orange Data category, click the Make a Variable button, name the variable Player 2 Score, and select For all sprites. Change the code in the new Basketball2 sprite to match the code shown here.
This code makes the basketball thrown by the second player go to the left and assigns the Player 2 Score variable to the second player.
You can rename a variable by going to the orange Data category, right-clicking the variable, and selecting Rename variable.
CHEAT MODE: FREEZE THE HOOPThe moving basketball hoop is a hard target to hit. Let’s add a cheat that will freeze it in place for a few seconds when a player presses the 7 key.
Select the Hoop sprite, and click the Make a Variable button to create a new For this sprite only variable named freeze. Then modify the code for the Hoop sprite to match the following code.
SUMMARYIn this chapter, you built a game that
Implements gravity and realistic falling
Has a side-view perspective instead of a top-down view
Uses variables to keep track of scores, falling speeds, and the first time a basket is made
Has a hitbox to detect when a basket is made
The use of gravity in this program was pretty simple. By the time you reach Chapter 9, you’ll be able to make an advanced platformer game with more complex jumping and falling.
But there are plenty of Scratch programming techniques to practice first. In Chapter 5, you’ll make a side-view game that uses cloning to duplicate a sprite dozens of times.
the best (general issue) :: September 22, 2004
September 22, 2004
09/22/2004, Poems - main issue
About winter fishing
roll,
And not having dinner on the ice.
When the water is blue azure,
a golden ray of sun is above,
You must have smoked dope,
After all, the river is under the ice in winter.
A lone hare turns white,
In the darkness on the far shore.
You diligently rub your nose and cheeks,
Otherwise they will fall off in a blizzard.
Or maybe it wasn't a hare,
But a snowy blue fox,
Where did he go, scoundrel?
I'm finishing, fairy tale f.....c.
1
also a poet
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
At the next concert of F. Kirkorov, the singer's fans unfurled a banner
“Filya, now, like you, we hate boobs and pink blouses! »
09/22/2004, Poems - the main issue
Like Vanya - well done,
Two eggs fell off,
And then the end fell off,
That's the f.
..c fairy tale.
6
also a poet
09/22/2004, Other new stories advertising. They are decorated in a funny way, these same travel cards, "for students..." and
"for citizens"... Indeed, you will think...
22.09.2004, Other new stories
"We, Tatars, one x ** - sho vodka, sho machine gun, if only it knocked us off our feet"
Kalashnikov (yes, yes, the same one) invented vodka:
http://www .cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europe/09/20/kalashnikov.vodka.reut/index.html
Joke-s...
24
The Misanthrope
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
2 - Do you know that the most popular series among soldiers is
"Dear Masha Berezina"?
- Where did you get it from?
- Yes, they have DMB written on every wall in their military units!
21
Andrew
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
It's hard for fools: you need to talk about everything with a smart look.
(Ivan Ivanyuk)
13
Sergey
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - the main issue
If you think well, you can lose them.
22.09.2004, Other new stories
Previously, four actors who starred in porn films were diagnosed with AIDS.
An investigation is underway to link their illness to (!) work activities.
http://mednovosti.ru/news/2004/09/20/condom/
22.09.2004, Other new jokes terrorists hiding in
the basement of a residential building on Leninskie Gory in Moscow. During operation
, 2 illegal immigrants from the Caucasus were killed. Forensics
are now establishing their identities. Unfortunately, there are victims among Muscovites...
31
Observer
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
Results of the preliminary investigation into the poisoning of Yushchenko, a candidate for
President of Ukraine: Well, first they drank vodka, then wine, then again
drank vodka, then beer, then beer, vodka and wine, and then poisoned themselves with
cookies.
38
Vadyukha
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
We have the same rights! Adjusters different...
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
Women's team always needs a masculine principle. (Yes, and the end, too,
does not hurt).
www.xaxaxa.ru
12
Mark Galperin
22.09.2004, Other new stories
To the question of who determines that the new dog food has become even tastier.
A little less than a year ago we got a dog. Shepherd.
's wife cooks food for her on purpose. But sometimes I buy something like Chappie for her. and
tell me: why ALL sellers of this product in response to my request
ask: “What are you doing with it? »
17
Anatoli
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Journalists! Do not tease F. Kirkorov with pink sweaters and boobs!
22.09.2004, Rhymes - main issue
If the pussy leaks,
Then the ass has no chance,
If only dear,
I won't get a blowjob.
4
Hairdresser
22.09.2004, Remaining new stories
Tricky question.
Why didn't the Romanian channel PROTV show in the news the most significant of
everything that happened and what the rest of the channels showed? Why didn't PROTV
report that a group of high-profile hucksters blew BILLION out of the
budget?
Correct! Because the owners of the channel IN THE SHARE!
Non-Romanian
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
PEPSI joke
1. Good afternoon. Tell me, do you also have feihui ???
2.
"Hello, PEPSI-COLA Company.
" Is this a hotline?
"Yes, the hotline of our company.
" So, I'm tired of lawlessness. I am a disabled person, my daughter works, and
we do not have the opportunity to sit all day in this avira. There are just
terrible queues.
"Excuse me, what company are you calling?
"What difference does it make which company I call?! This is a hotline, so
here and help me.
"I'm sorry you're in this situation, but this is hotline
from PEPSI-COLA!!!
"Yes??! (pause, hung up) 3. Hello, do you have
speederman backpacks?
4. Alcoholic tonic???
5. Where can I get an inflatable cheerleader seat?
6.
" Hello, PEPSI -COLA.
"Hello. I dialed 32 caps with 9-digit numbers. You have
written that I can win the game and a joke.
"Yes, you can win the game for mobile phone "Football bullfight"
and a joke.
"But they don't send me anything.
"What is your mobile operator?
" Girl, I'm not an electronics engineer, I don't understand what you're talking about.
"When you turn on the phone, what does it say: MTS, BEE LINE?
" Nothing is written, but I'll call the PBX and find out.
"Are you trying to get the game using a landline phone?
"Yes!!!
" Participation in this promotion requires a cell phone.
7.
" Good afternoon PEPSI-COLA.
"Hello, I've got lids here.
"Tell me, what is painted on the covers?
" Man.
"Okay, what do you want to win?
" Inflatable fan.
"Unfortunately, the promotion has already ended.
8. PEPSI-COLA is running a promotion with Aqua-Minerale "Discover
the unknown". unidentified"?0009 in the center of Moscow), died of a heart attack in pre-trial detention center
literally the next day after his arrest ...
- And so it will be with every terrorist -
said in his television interview Q. %%%%%, commenting on this circumstance...
Taken from
26
Your Bunny Wrote
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
- Dad, is Terminator a comedy?
- No, son, this is fantastic!
29
Needle
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Russia successively goes through the stages of democracy.
Democracy in Gorbachev's way is an opportunity to freely hang out under the
heel of a wife and an opportunity to chat freely without answering for anything.
Yeltsin-style democracy is an opportunity for family members and close
oligarchs to freely plunder the country and its citizens.
Putin-style democracy is an opportunity to freely jump to
place (strictly vertically). Step right or step left -...
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
The presidential candidate of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovych, has finally presented to the public
copies of papers related to his convictions. The main acquittal
that caused the immediate withdrawal of
all charges of rape and previous convictions for murder and
armed robbery was the statement of cosmonaut Beregovoy
that Yanukovych was forced to commit the above crimes
by aliens! By order of the Yenakievsky court, cosmonaut
Beregovoy personally went in search of intruders in outer space,
and also signed a petition to political leaders of other countries of the world for
assistance in the search. Unfortunately, even the expedition of the American
satellite to Mars did not bring the desired results.
Criminals,
corresponding to the description of the victim were not found on Mars.
President of the United States, George Bush, in a telephone conversation with Viktor Yanukovych
expressed his condolences on the fact that the scoundrels who inflicted0009 irreparable damage to the shaky psyche of the Ukrainian political leader,
still remain at large.
According to the Yanukovych team, the documents were not presented earlier in
due to the modesty of the presidential candidate, since the facts cited in them
emphasize the best human qualities of Viktor Fedorovich, that
at the height of the election campaign could be perceived as self-advertising.
Here is a part of the text from the protocol of the court in the case of rape,
which emphasizes how sensitive and vulnerable young man Vitya Yanukovych was:
"You won't believe it, Comrade Judge... fucked and cried," said
Viktor Fedorovich, brushing away a tear.
We apologize to Russian readers who are not interested in the events of the
Ukrainian presidential election.
An excerpt from the article is given only so that the perplexed Russians finally understand why Vladimir Putin
strongly supports Viktor Yanukovych in the election campaign.
42
Press Attaché of Viktor Yanukovych
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Night Watch - 3,000,000 people watched us... 2,800,000 of them vomited 90,009 farther than they saw... the remaining 200,000 are hardened critics and those who
took part in the filming.
25
Vovchik
09/22/2004, the remaining new jokes
GDP MBHU NOVORISH
30
De O Bolonn
09/22/2004, the remaining new jokes
- What is the ultimate goal of Russia?
- Same as the rest of the world. The modern world is a train0009 countries - wagons attached to a steam locomotive, which is the United States. Where is the US heading for
? That's right, hell. So the rest of the world
follows them there (if it doesn’t unhook in time).
37
Count
09/22/2004, new aphorisms and phrases - the main release of
In the morning even from crumbs did not take
09/22/2004, the main release
Rabbit and cat 9000
is known that a miser will pay twice.
..
And frivolity once,
He will give you a lesson,
And you will pay dues...
So the rabbit was carried away by the cat,
And the poet woke up in him...
Yuloa his verse wound up,
For the first time after so many years... ,
And he strives for one thing...
Use the body as soon as possible,
Presented to him...
And our kitty is just lovely,
And her idol with paw ears...
Ready to listen to any heresy,
Oh God, that is, O Wei Zmir*...
A cat walks anywhere,
And with just anyone, so to speak...
She is not very interested,
When and with whom to share a bed...
But those who are looking for adventure,
will most likely find it...
And our rabbit is no exception,
Fate-villainess awaits him...
Met a month a rabbit with a kitty,
The fate of the young man is sad...
With difficulty now he can write,
And something is dripping from the end...
*Wei Zmir-Oh God( Hebrew - go)
9
Superleo
22.
09.2004, Other new jokes
- What did you like most about the opening ceremony of the Olympics in Athens
?
- Most of all at the opening ceremony I liked the way some man
walked around the cube in the air.
15
Ares
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
- I was talking to a guy yesterday, but he is completely unfamiliar with Photoshop!
- didn't your mother teach you not to talk to strangers as a child?
18
filthy arys
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Cinema news
Due to the difficult relationship between artists within the
Hollywood film company, in order to really reflect reality, it was decided
to replace its second (unofficial) name - "Dream Factory" with "Factory of Dreams"
gyurz".
7
vasia
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
-Yes, my grandfather took the Reichstag!!!
- Who are you listening to, I'm telling you, his grandfather was generally weak in thinking,
he took the Rechstag 3 times.
.. drunk... at 49. Head "
3
Zoltan
09/22/2004, new aphorisms and phrases - the main release of
There are still spots in the polarists
14,0002 L. Sery
09/22/2004, the remaining new stories
Google test for the test ingenuity.
(There is a certain humor in this, especially considering that this is a
hiring test!)
1) Solve this coded equation, not forgetting that M and E can
replace each other. Leading zeros are not allowed.
WWWDOT - GOOGLE = DOTCOM
2) Write a hack describing possible ways to predict searches
by season
3) What's on the next line?
1
1 1
2 1
1 2 1 1
1 1 1 2 2 1
4) You are in a maze full of small winding passages,
all alone one. You see a dusty laptop with weak WLAN. Boring,
lifeless gnomes roam around. What to do?
A) Wander aimlessly through the maze, knocking against the walls until the beech
eats you.
B) Dig a passage to the next level with a laptop
C) Play role-play until the battery runs out
D) Use a laptop to map the maze and find the exit
.
E) Send resume to Google, tell chief gnome you're quitting,
and find yourself in a completely different world.
5) What's wrong with Unix? How to fix it?
6) On your first day at Google, you discover that your roommate in room
has written the textbook you used in your freshman year. You:
A) You faint, ask for an autograph.
B) Try not to move and press the keys very gently so as not to
disturb her concentration.
C) Leave daily offerings of coffee beans and
toffee
D) Recite your favorite textbook formula, explaining why
is your life motto.
E) Show her how example 17b could be solved with 34 lines of code
less than in the book.
7) Which of the following best expresses Google's strategy?
A) "I'm lucky!"
B) "Don't be mean"
C) "Ah, I already fixed it"
D) "Never go more than 10 meters from food"
E) All four points
8) In how many different ways can an icosahedron be colored if take
one color per face?
What colors would you like?
9) This item is empty.
Fill it with something worth it.
10) On an infinite 2D grid of 1 ohm resistors, what is the
resistance between two nodes separated by a knight's move?
11) Two in the afternoon, Sunday, in the Bay Area. Just two minutes drive from
Pacific Ocean; redwood forest, where you can go hiking; and in the city of
you can spend time culturally. Where to go?
12) What do you think is the most beautiful mathematical equation?
13) Which interest club is NOT in Google?
A) Women's Basketball
B) Buffy Fans
C) Cricket
D) Nobel Laureates
E) Wine Club
14) The next breakthrough in search technology?
15) What is the optimal project team size above which
additional members do not increase productivity relative to the
increased team size?
A) 1
B) 3
C) 5
D) 11
E) 24
16) Triangle ABC is given; use compass and triangle face,
to find point P, while triangles ABP, ACP, and BCP have
the same perimeters? (ABC is constructed such that a solution to
exists)
17) Derive a function that returns the number of 1s required by
in printouts of all numbers from 0 to N.
For example, f(13) = 6. Notice that
f(1 ) = 1. What is the largest N such that f(N) = N is possible?
18) what is the coolest program you have ever played?
19) Once upon a time there was a great company, and you could choose K things from N
to do in as many ways as N-K of N things: I take K, you -
everything else. Find the most wonderful one-to-one function, with the mind
extraordinary, which maps all K of mine. But kings love precision:
let it not be K more than Chen half N.
19) Which number is next in the sequence:
10, 9, 60, 90, 70, 66, ?
A) 96
B) 10 to the power of 100
C) Any of the above
D) None of the above
20) B 29In words (or less), describe what you would like to do
if you were working at Google Labs.
http://brainhaze.blogspot.com/2004/09/google.html
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
RESCUE CHILDREN OF BESLAN: WE WILL NEVER GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN!!!!
.
. what a chic excuse...
09/22/2004, Fresh jokes - main issue
To defeat terrorism, it is necessary that all employees in positions
be appointed by the president. Then the position of a terrorist can be left vacant
and there will be no terror.
(C) Robi
3
(C) Robi
51...100 • 101...150 •
Yesterday<< September 22 >>Tomorrow
best (general release) :: September 22, 2004
September 22, 2004
09/22/2004, Other new jokes and wine, and then poisoned
cookie.
38
Vadyukha
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
We have the same rights! Adjusters are different...
22.09.2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
Women's team always needs a masculine principle. (Yes, and the end, too,
does not hurt).
www.xaxaxa.ru
12
Mark Galperin
22.
09.2004, Other new stories
To the question of who determines that the new dog food has become even tastier.
A little less than a year ago we got a dog. Shepherd.
's wife cooks food for her on purpose. But sometimes I buy something like Chappie for her. And
tell me: why ALL sellers of this product in response to my request
ask: “What are you doing with it? »
17
Anatoli
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Journalists! Do not tease F. Kirkorov with pink sweaters and boobs!
09/22/2004, Rhymes - main issue
If pussy leaks,
Then the ass has no chance,
If only dear,
I will not give a blowjob.
4
Hairdresser
09/22/2004, Other new stories
A question for filling.
Why didn't the Romanian channel PROTV show in the news the most significant of
everything that happened and what the rest of the channels showed? Why didn't PROTV
report that a group of high-profile hucksters blew BILLION out of the
budget?
Correct! Because the owners of the channel IN THE SHARE!
Non-Romanian
22.
09.2004, Other new jokes
PEPSI joke
1. Good afternoon. Tell me, do you also have feihui ???
2.
"Hello, PEPSI-COLA Company.
" Is this a hotline?
"Yes, the hotline of our company.
" So, I'm tired of lawlessness. I am a disabled person, my daughter works, and
we do not have the opportunity to sit all day in this avira. There are just
terrible queues.
"Excuse me, what company are you calling?
"What difference does it make what company I'm calling?!! It's a hotline, so
help me.
" I'm sorry you're in this situation, but this is PEPSI-COLA hotline
!!!
"Yes??! (pause, hung up) 3. Hello, do you have
speederman backpacks?
4. Alcoholic tonic???
5. Where can I get an inflatable cheerleader seat?
6.
" Hello, PEPSI -COLA.
"Hello. I dialed 32 caps with 9-digit numbers. You have
it says that I can win the game and an anecdote.
"Yes, you can win the mobile phone game "Football Bullfight"
and a joke.
"But they don't send me anything.
"What is your mobile operator?
" Girl, I'm not an electronics engineer, I don't understand what you're talking about.
"When you turn on the phone, what does it say: MTS, BEE LINE?
" Nothing is written, but I'll call the PBX and find out.
"Are you trying to get the game using a landline phone?
"Well, yes!!!
" Participation in this promotion requires the presence of a cell phone.
7.
"Hello, PEPSI-COLA.
" Hello, I've got lids here.
"Tell me, what is painted on the covers?
" Man.
"Okay, what do you want to win?
" Inflatable fan.
"Unfortunately, the promotion has already ended.
8. PEPSI-COLA is running a promotion with Aqua-Minerale "Discover
the unknown."0009 unknown? detention...
- And so it will be with every terrorist - said in his TV interview
%%%%%%%%% %% V. V. %%%%%, commenting on this circumstance... 26
Your Bunny Wrote
22.
09.2004, Other new jokes
- Dad, is Terminator a comedy?
- No, son, this is fantastic!
29
Needle
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
Russia successively goes through the stages of democracy.
Democracy in Gorbachev's way is an opportunity to freely hang out under the
heel of a wife and an opportunity to chat freely without answering for anything.
Yeltsin-style democracy is an opportunity for family members and associates
oligarchs freely plunder the country and its citizens.
Putin-style democracy is an opportunity to freely jump to
place (strictly vertically). A step to the right or a step to the left -...
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
The presidential candidate of Ukraine, Viktor Yanukovych, has finally presented to the public copies of papers related to his convictions.
the main
exculpatory document that caused the immediate dismissal of
all rape charges and previous convictions for murder and
Armed robbery served as a statement by cosmonaut Beregovoy that
that alien aliens forced Yanukovych to commit the above crimes! By order of the Yenakievsky court, cosmonaut
Beregovoy personally went in search of intruders in outer space,
and also signed a petition to political leaders of other countries of the world for
assistance in the search.
Unfortunately, even the expedition of the American
satellite to Mars did not bring the desired results. Criminals,
matching the description of the victim were not found on Mars.
The President of the United States, George W. Bush, in a telephone conversation with Viktor Yanukovych
expressed his condolences over the fact that the
scoundrels who inflicted irreparable damage to the
shaky psyche of the Ukrainian political leader,
still remain at large.
According to Yanukovych's team, the documents were not presented earlier in
due to the modesty of the presidential candidate, since the facts included in them
emphasize the best human qualities of Viktor Fedorovich, that
in the midst of an election campaign could be seen as self-promotion.
Here is a part of the text from the protocol of the court in the case of rape,
which emphasizes how sensitive and vulnerable young man Viktor Yanukovych was:
"You won't believe it, Comrade Judge.
.. fucked and cried," said
Viktor Fedorovich, brushing away a tear.
We apologize to Russian readers who are not interested in the events of the
Ukrainian presidential election. An excerpt from the article is provided only to
so that perplexed Russians finally understand why Vladimir Putin
strongly supports Viktor Yanukovych in the election campaign.
42
Press Attache of Viktor Yanukovych
22.09.2004, Other new jokes who
took part in the shooting.
25
Vovchik
22.09.2004, Other new jokes0003
De O Bolonn
22.09.2004, Other new jokes
- What is the ultimate goal of Russia?
- Same as the rest of the world. The modern world is a train,
countries are wagons attached to a steam locomotive, which is the USA. Where is the US heading for
? That's right, hell. So the rest of the world
follows them there (if it doesn’t unhook in time).
37
Count
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - main issue
in the morning I wouldn’t take even a crumb in my mouth
09/22/2004, Poems - the main issue
The Fable of the Rabbit and the Cat
It is known that the miser will pay twice .
..
And frivolity one day,
Will give you a lesson,
And you will pay dues...
So the rabbit was carried away by the cat,
And the poet awakened in him... one...
Use the body rather,
Presented to him...
And our kitty is just lovely,
And her idol with paw ears...
Ready to listen to any heresy,
Oh God, that is, Oh Wei Zmir*...
The cat is walking anywhere,
And with anyone, so to speak...
She is not very interested,
When and with whom to share a bed...
But the one who is looking for an adventure,
will most likely find him...
And our rabbit is no exception,
Fate - the villain is waiting for him...The fate of the young man is sad...
With difficulty now he can write,
And something is dripping from the end...
Other new jokes
- What did you like most about the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Athens
?
- Most of all at the opening ceremony I liked the way some man
walked around the cube in the air.
15
Ares
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
- I was talking to a guy yesterday, he's completely unfamiliar with Photoshop!
- didn't your mother teach you not to talk to strangers as a child?
18
filthy arys
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
Cinema news
"to" Factory
gyurz".
7
vasia
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
- Yes, my grandfather took the Reichstag!!! 3 times the Rechstag took .. drunk ... at 49.
8
multik
22.09.2004
3
ZOLTAN
09/22/2004, New aphorisms and phrases - the main issue
There are more fucks in the bags
14
L. Gray
09/22/2004, Other new stories
Google test for ingenuity.
(There is a certain humor in this, especially considering that this is a
hiring test!)
1) Solve this encrypted equation, remembering that M and E can
replace each other.
Leading zeros are not allowed.
WWWDOT - GOOGLE = DOTCOM
2) Write a hack describing possible ways to predict searches
by seasons
3) What's on the next line?
1
1 1
2 1
1 2 1 1
1 1 1 2 2 1
4) You are in a maze full of little winding passages,
all alone. You see a dusty laptop with weak WLAN. Boring,
lifeless gnomes roam around. What to do?
A) Wander aimlessly through the maze, knocking against the walls until you are
won't eat.
B) Dig a passage to the next level with a laptop
C) Play role-play until the battery runs out
D) Use a laptop to map the maze and find the exit
.
E) Send your resume to Google, tell the chief gnome you're quitting,
and find yourself in a completely different world.
5) What's wrong with Unix? How to fix it?
6) On your first day at Google, you discover that your roommate in room
has written the textbook you used in your freshman year.
You:
A) You faint, ask for an autograph.
B) Try not to move and press the keys very gently so as not to
disturb her concentration.
C) Leave offerings of coffee beans and toffee
at her table every day
D) Recite your favorite formula from the textbook, explaining why it is
the motto of your life.
E) Show her how example 17b could be solved with 34 lines of code
less than in the book.
7) Which of the following best expresses Google's strategy?
A) "I'm lucky!"
B) "Don't be mean"
C) "Ah, I already fixed it"
D) "Never go more than 10 meters from food"
E) All four points
8) In how many different ways can an icosahedron be colored if take
one color per face?
What colors would you like?
9) This item is empty. Fill it with something worth it.
10) On an infinite 2D grid of 1 ohm resistors, what is the
resistance between two nodes separated by a knight's move?
11) Two in the afternoon, Sunday, in the Bay Area.
Just two minutes drive from
Pacific Ocean; redwood forest, where you can go hiking; and in the city of
you can spend time culturally. Where to go?
12) What do you think is the most beautiful mathematical equation?
13) Which interest club is NOT in Google?
A) Women's Basketball
B) Buffy Fans
C) Cricket
D) Nobel Laureates
E) Wine Club
14) The next breakthrough in search technology?
15) What is the optimal project team size above which
additional members do not increase productivity relative to the
increased team size?
A) 1
B) 3
C) 5
D) 11
E) 24
16) Triangle ABC is given; use a compass and a triangle face,
, to find point P, where triangles ABP, ACP, and BCP have
the same perimeters? (ABC is constructed in such a way that a solution to
exists)
17) Derive a function that returns the number of units required by
to print out all the numbers from 0 to N.
For example, f(13) = 6. Notice that
f(1) = 1. What is the largest N such that f(N) = N is possible?
18) what is the coolest program you have ever played?
19) Once upon a time there was a great company, and it was possible to choose K things from N
in as many ways as N-K from N things: I take K, you -
everything else. Find the most wonderful one-to-one function, with the mind
extraordinary, which maps all K of mine. But kings love precision:
let it not be K more than Chen half N.
19) Which number is next in the sequence:
10, 9, 60, 90, 70, 66, ?
A) 96
B) 10 to the power of 100
C) Any of the above
D) None of the above
20) In 29 words (or less), describe what you would like to do
if you worked at Google Labs.
http://brainhaze.blogspot.com/2004/09/google.html
09/22/2004, Other new jokes
RESCUE CHILDREN OF BESLAN: WE WILL NEVER GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN!!!!
.. what a chic excuse.
